Dance in the rain

Weddings. They are usually crazy. Everyone said it would be a blur. I won’t lie to you. Leading up to the day…it was. Hosting so many Americans, making sure everyone is fed (we don’t have a grocery store close, food isn’t always easy) planning a wedding in a third world country, being the only one to translate the needs of 15+ people, was enough to make me almost lose it. But then…the day arrived. And such a calm filled me, it was kind of amazing. I knew it wasn't me. That calm was a supernatural gift. 

I remember everything so clearly; nothing was a blur. I remember My Farmer’s face when he saw me, how nervous and excited he was. I remember hearing the cheers as all the Americans and Lao people walked together; showing the unity between our people. I remember the rain soaking everybody, but everyone seemed to just glow. I remember my dress and feet literally covered in mud, and not caring at all. I remember the steady voice of my beloved husband as he spoke his handwritten promises to me.

I remember being so so happy. We were happy.

And as we danced in the mud and rain, ruining our makeup hair and clothes I just laughed. It was so fitting for me. I always have this plan of what things should be, a vision, but my Father tends to change it a bit, it’s not as glamorous, structured or traditional, as others want it to be. SO many times in my life I am told, Well what your doing just isn’t done.

That seems to be a pattern in my life. I keep doing things that just “aren’t done” but the wonderful thing is, that’s ok. My story is mine intertwined with a Good Father and He loves turning things upside down. It's not always easy but it's always good. 

My life looks a lot like my wedding. Muddy, imperfect, chaotic; but always real, genuine, and full of wild joy. I’m so grateful for that.

The Lao weddings are usually very serious and structured, all rather similar. I think everyone felt this freedom at our wedding,  to not be that way, and they loved it. You could feel this sense of release from everyone.

We in America especially love everything structured. Perfect. But so many times that just isn’t how life works. It’s best to just let the joy overtake you and dance in the rain. A lot of people will give you expectations about things. But you have your own story. It isn’t dictated by simply what has been done before. For a long time I lived in fear because I feel and do things so differently. But I’m realizing that, that is what my Father likes. He never does the expected. My Farmer and I are slowly meeting others on a similar path, who feel the same. We are starting to live like truly free people.

So dance in the rain; let the mud stay on your dress. And embrace joy. You might lose your life...and find it.