Staying Sane in Life's Insanity

We all have different levels of chaos in our lives. Juggling school and a job, or several jobs, kids, relationships whatever it is. When we wake up on some mornings it’s easy to wake up already feeling defeated by the insanity of life.

Now to set the stage I live in a tiny elevated wood house (sort of like a big tree house). The people in the house vary from 6-11 in the house. There are no rooms. There are no bathrooms. At 5 am people are awake in your space, demanding things of you, kids are crying, music is blaring. Any tasks done here are done very slowly (we call it Lao time) which can be extremely frustrating when trying to work, wifi doesn’t always happen, and if you need anything it’s going to be a 30 minute drive (oh don’t forget if you have an errand ALL your neighbors are going to want to run their errands in your truck too….so you end up running all of their errands as well). Also trying to organize a business and farming cooperative with no table or chair and transferring information into several languages and across a totally different culture. WHEW! That is my life. I tell you this to give you some hope, if I can get stuff done and maintain joy you can too!

My worst days have been when I handle life’s chaos and reality poorly. I’m learning all these things and don’t always do them perfectly, but each one has helped me so much. So here are 10 helpful tips to manage crazy life situations.

1.     Mornings are yours. Whether you have kids or not, school or work, start the morning the way YOU want to. I honestly hate having to step out of my bed and face a crowd of people in our house demanding my time first thing in the morning. It puts me in a terrible mood and gave the day a bad start. So now I sit in my room with a sheet being my protector from the outside world and don’t get out till everyone goes to work around 7:30 a.m. They all think I’m weird but I don’t care because I wake up in a quiet house, can make coffee, and wash my face at my pace without an audience. This will be different for everyone, but wake up the way you want to. If that means waking up a little earlier, changing up your schedule, or setting boundaries do it. It’s your morning, and it’s going to change your day if it’s a good one.

2.     Organize something. Maybe not everybody cares about organization. I haven’t always been super organized, but since my life has become more chaotic and dirty it has helped me SO SO SO SO much spending time and energy organizing what I can. I honestly think when I’m stressed and feel like I can’t control anything, organizing my bookshelf, or clothes, getting rid of things I don’t need, de-stresses me so much.

3.     Make something beautiful. Our days can be full, our budgets tight but doing something simple to make our space a warm one helps me relax when I need too. I recently have been taking old wine bottles and painting/decorating them. They are super simple and add a touch of beauty in our little house. You don’t need to be super creative to make homemade house items. Just go on pinterest and choose something easy and you’ll be surprised how satisfying it’ll feel after. Also I’ve found sitting still and completing a small task amidst all the unfinished/ongoing tasks helps calm and encourage my heart.

4.     Live simply- I have found the more stuff I have the more stressed I feel. I don’t have much out here, but I try to give away anything I’m not using regularly. I hope when I become a parent I will keep things simple for my kids, I think too much stuff can stress or over-stimulate children as well. There is a huge movement towards minimalism and I love it, and think it can be a super freeing and healthy way to live. My Farmer and I have found experiences are much more worth investing in then stuff. Less stuff, less mess. 

5.     Do something for you. Whether it’s watching a movie, reading a book, or working out we all need some time to un-wind. A way to turn our minds off of whatever worries we have. In my free time, I constantly feel like I have to be emailing, calling, writing, and sharing so we are full funded. It was really stealing all my joy and making me constantly panic about money. Now in my evening free time I go for a run, shower and I drink a cup of tea while reading. I discovered that if you have a library card you can borrow books online from your library and read them on Kindle cloud for FREE. Plus you can download it and read it offline. It has been a lifesaver and although I prefer a book in my hand it’s nice to get new books out here always on my computer. So if you’re on a tight budget no worries, get a library card, search your county's library website, login and start reading at no cost.

6.     Turn off the phone. Whether your at work or with your family focus on what your doing, and don’t be half distracted by your phone buzzing. I never get any work done when I’m constantly looking at it. Also I never focus fully on the people around me when obsessing over it. We miss so many moments and don’t get tasks done when we are constantly scrolling. I also feel having our attention split heightens our anxiety. I usually have my online time in the morning, or at night. In the day I try to be present 100%, it helps me focus and feel more productive in life’s craziness. I don’t always succeed but I’m getting better and better at it.

7.     Feel Good, Do good. I stole this one from my friend Nicki. Read her blog the Everyday Simple, it has challenged and encouraged me for so many ways. But looking good is not for anybody but for myself. If I’m dirty, clothes are dirty and I feel ugly, I’m going to let the craziness of the day win, and end up lying in my tiny room feeling utterly defeated. People often laugh when they notice I wear lipstick out here, don’t laugh, I’m still a girl and nothing makes me feel sexier or more confident than some red lipstick. I’m ready to take on the day. If you want some lipstick that will never come off all day so you can look good whether your cleaning up your kid's puke, working on a farm, or giving a presentation to your boss, click here.

8.     Be flexible. I had to let go of plans here. But I think we need to let go of it some wherever we are  (not only if your in a Lao village). Don’t always schedule everything (errands, meetings with friends etc). Also if life changes a bit, it’s ok to adjust your schedule and boundaries. When harvest time is in full swing for us, I will probably have less free-time, but joy in doing something I love. It’s ok for things to change. If I try to plan out everyday, it never goes the way I want it to, as long as we stay productive but try to limit our expectations our mood will be better. I tend to welcome and thrive in the chaos instead of fight it all day when I have a more flexible attitude. 

9.     Let people help you. I have had to accept help in so many different ways. I honestly hate needing help, but I’ve learned that it brings more community in my life, deepens my relationships, humbles me AND get’s things done better. It can also be more fun. Communal culture in Laos has rubbed off on me for sure, I now love doing things as a group and offer help as much as it’s given to me.

10. Laugh. A lot.  Honestly sometimes everything will be broken, you'll have a bad day at work, you won't get the grade you want, you'll be late, your kids will be screaming, everything will seem like it's falling apart. You have to laugh, I promise you it's the cure all. God knew I needed a funny husband for our dark days here. He keeps me laughing when I need it and it has never failed. 

Hope you enjoyed these, and I want to hear more ways YOU thrive in the crazy days, or how you deal with insanity. Post a comment or shoot me a message! Life can be insane but instead of fighting it let’s roll with it.